[He needs to take a slow, deep breath, because feelings are hard. But he stays there, close, not withdrawing into his own space even though all his fear and self-loathing is very much apparent in his quiet, rough voice when he speaks.]
...Meeting you was like feeling sunshine on my face for the very first time. Warm, but also... it stings, a little. With all those secrets, it was just-- a mess. But when we were young, I could almost believe I could be happy someday, with you.
I know we can't turn back time, or put it on pause. I might not have the freedom to choose you. But I want to.
So...
[aand another big breath and he is not going to cry because he said so]
So even if it's just a temporary fantasy, I want to stay with you. I want to-- to go home with you, belong to you, support you whether you're being a businessman, or a socialite, or a melodramatic vigilante with a stupid nickname. I want to be happy, for a little while. And... in the end, I want to die in your arms, where I'm not anything but the person who loves you. So please, even if you can't save me, just... don't leave me alone.
Re: day 45, evening
[He needs to take a slow, deep breath, because feelings are hard. But he stays there, close, not withdrawing into his own space even though all his fear and self-loathing is very much apparent in his quiet, rough voice when he speaks.]
...Meeting you was like feeling sunshine on my face for the very first time. Warm, but also... it stings, a little. With all those secrets, it was just-- a mess. But when we were young, I could almost believe I could be happy someday, with you.
I know we can't turn back time, or put it on pause. I might not have the freedom to choose you. But I want to.
So...
[aand another big breath and he is not going to cry because he said so]
So even if it's just a temporary fantasy, I want to stay with you. I want to-- to go home with you, belong to you, support you whether you're being a businessman, or a socialite, or a melodramatic vigilante with a stupid nickname. I want to be happy, for a little while. And... in the end, I want to die in your arms, where I'm not anything but the person who loves you. So please, even if you can't save me, just... don't leave me alone.